Yes, that really is a movie (or abomination, one of the two). A couple of years ago, I picked up a few boxed sets of DVDs that shared a common theme. One of these sets was titled "Bite Nite", and contained vampire-themed movies. I picked a DVD at random from it one night and wound up watching "Sorority House Vampires from Hell".
Plot synopsis? I can't do that. First, an internal self-defense mechanism in my brain is trying to blot out the memory of this movie. Secondly, it would have had to have a plot in order for me to summarize it.
Okay okay... As far as I can tell, we have a female vampire that was awakened by a person tripping over her grave. She needs to drink the blood from some number of people (seven, I think) in order to... uh... I have no idea. Become human? Become powerful? Get out of this movie? Something like that. The audio for this movie was horrible, and I was not about to re-watch any of it just to find out what her grand plan was. Meanwhile, we have three women that want to enter a sorority, which has its house in the middle of the woods (the hell?) in the same general area in which our vampire woke up. Also meanwhile, a male vampire has woken up in a basement. This movie is supposedly a comedy (I say supposedly because it never caused me to crack so much as a smile), and the male vampire is supposed to be additional comic relief. His scenes are not funny. They are painful. Very, very painful. I'd describe them, but I do not take joy in the pain of others. The scenes of the male vampire also do not intersect the main movie until the very end... sort of.
Let's see... what else? Well, the movie has a fair bit of female nudity in it. As a typical male, I can admit that I have nothing against female nudity. However, this movie sucked so hard that even that couldn't add anything to it. Adding nudity to this movie has as much effect as tossing spotlights into a black hole. In fact, adding anything to this movie is useless. The only way to improve this movie is by subtraction. If you were to cut about... oh... 86 minutes from this movie, you might have something more entertaining. On an unrelated note, the running time of this movie is 86 minutes.
How bad is this movie? Even the ending doesn't stop the pain... because it has THREE ENDINGS! As I felt relief that the movie was over near the end, it suddenly started running backwards, and then an alternate ending played (no, it wasn't any better than the first one). Then that one ran backwards and ANOTHER alternate ending played. I think that this was the ending in which the male vampire also appeared and intersected the main... er... 'plot'. At that point, I was starting to believe that I was the victim of a curse. It's as if this movie was the cursed video from Ringu or something... if the video killed you by sucking instead of through an angry spirit or something.
If anything that I have written above has convinced you to seek out this movie, then I have but three words for you: DON'T DO IT!!!! Seriously, DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE! This movie was so bad that I gave serious consideration to smashing the DVD after it ended. But "Blood Slaves of the Vampire Wolf" was on Side B. I don't know if it's any good or not, but it has to be better than "Sorority House Vampires from Hell" only because it can't be any worse.
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